My son started kindergarten last month. A week after I started school. Mornings are difficult, I wake up to the vibration of my cellphone, then drag myself and my son out of bed. I grab a granola bar or pack of fruit snacks for breakfast and drive him to school. By this time, nine is quickly approaching, and as much as I try to swallow my anxiety and have a peaceful goodbye, I fail. Every time it's the same, the walk through the front entrance is smooth, but as we turn the corner and approach the hallway he buckles and grabs my legs. I pry him off and push him gently, back-pack bobbing, down the hallway to his classroom.
With part one accomplished, I walk myself to the train. The morning commute is my favorite part of the day. Students and professionals packed like sardines, smelling like soap, dressed for the office, drinking coffee. The quiet vulnerability, the closeness, the coffee, the eye contact... every morning I look for a handsome man to make eye contact with and though I rarely find him, it is fun to look. I wonder how many people think about sex during their morning commute?
My evenings have taken on a similar sort of routine. Though the four-thirty train is much less romantic. I've been spending a good bit of time, almost every free night I have, with a new man. With him, I have realized the true power of good sex. Of course I've always known how much I liked sex but what I didn't know was that really good sex, the kind I am having with this man had the power to keep me fully interested, committed even. I mean, I've gone out on dates with other men and I still browse ok-cupid, I still give my phone number to cute boys at bars, and accept drinks when I am sitting alone, but at the end of the day (I'm starting to sound domestic) he is the only man I want to sleep next to, the only man I want to Fuck. I've stopped maintaining my go-to's (as in men I go to for sex), I stopped writing the married man, stopped sending how are you text's to ex-boyfriends, stopped having bi-weekly maintenance sex to keep certain men in my life, all of it.
With him, I have also realized how much I'm into domination. Not the leather and chains kind, but almost? He bites me, and I love it, and he spanks me, and I love it, and he pulls my hair, hard, and I love it, all! I provoke him, bite him, and he reacts, asserts his 'power' and it is wonderful. SAFE, SEXY, and WONDERFUL. We even bought rope! I have been asking men to tie me up (just to try it) for years, and though he hasn't done it yet, we talk about it, and we have the rope, and it's going to happen, and it's wonderful! Am I starting to sound, smitten? What can I say? It is a relationship that has everything I need right now, the right kind of sex, the right kind of rules, great communication, flexibility, the right amount of jealousy, fun, and on and on and on. Now I am not saying that this is forever, or that I will not have new men in the future, but I am satisfied in a way that I haven't been in a long time, and so, for now at least, I am happy to say that there will be more stories about him in the future, hopefully stories that include rope.
With part one accomplished, I walk myself to the train. The morning commute is my favorite part of the day. Students and professionals packed like sardines, smelling like soap, dressed for the office, drinking coffee. The quiet vulnerability, the closeness, the coffee, the eye contact... every morning I look for a handsome man to make eye contact with and though I rarely find him, it is fun to look. I wonder how many people think about sex during their morning commute?
My evenings have taken on a similar sort of routine. Though the four-thirty train is much less romantic. I've been spending a good bit of time, almost every free night I have, with a new man. With him, I have realized the true power of good sex. Of course I've always known how much I liked sex but what I didn't know was that really good sex, the kind I am having with this man had the power to keep me fully interested, committed even. I mean, I've gone out on dates with other men and I still browse ok-cupid, I still give my phone number to cute boys at bars, and accept drinks when I am sitting alone, but at the end of the day (I'm starting to sound domestic) he is the only man I want to sleep next to, the only man I want to Fuck. I've stopped maintaining my go-to's (as in men I go to for sex), I stopped writing the married man, stopped sending how are you text's to ex-boyfriends, stopped having bi-weekly maintenance sex to keep certain men in my life, all of it.
With him, I have also realized how much I'm into domination. Not the leather and chains kind, but almost? He bites me, and I love it, and he spanks me, and I love it, and he pulls my hair, hard, and I love it, all! I provoke him, bite him, and he reacts, asserts his 'power' and it is wonderful. SAFE, SEXY, and WONDERFUL. We even bought rope! I have been asking men to tie me up (just to try it) for years, and though he hasn't done it yet, we talk about it, and we have the rope, and it's going to happen, and it's wonderful! Am I starting to sound, smitten? What can I say? It is a relationship that has everything I need right now, the right kind of sex, the right kind of rules, great communication, flexibility, the right amount of jealousy, fun, and on and on and on. Now I am not saying that this is forever, or that I will not have new men in the future, but I am satisfied in a way that I haven't been in a long time, and so, for now at least, I am happy to say that there will be more stories about him in the future, hopefully stories that include rope.
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