After J and the lessons he taught me, I began to approach my relationships with men more honestly. During each new encounter I would make time to state my position: "I can't commit. I value my freedom. I like to sleep around. I think we could have fun together but I just don't want you to expect more from me than I am willing to give." Most of the time the men would understand. Within one month, I slept with K on my porch, L on his (dirty) bedroom floor, M in my bed after the beach, N in his swanky black and white bedroom. I slept with my friend's little brother O with his music and incense and candles and then I met P.
P was a mathematician. He wore second-hand slacks, button-down plaids, grandpa-cardigans, and sneakers. He woke up to NPR and had the paper delivered to his door.
I met P at my favorite bar. He was sitting in the nook where the bar wraps around and meets the stage, which to many is considered the best seat. I had just come back into the bar with a bag of skittles. I offered some to the doorman, which he gladly accepted and then I walked over to P's nook and offered some to him. Of course, he didn't like skittles but he did ask me to sit down. We talked for hours and then went back to his place. When we got inside his apartment he carried me through the dark and into his bedroom. The next morning he told me that he had never slept with someone on the first night. I felt really sexy around him. Like I was the young, wild, adventurous girl that he would ask over to play. P was the first man in a long time I could imagine a future with.
I met P at my favorite bar. He was sitting in the nook where the bar wraps around and meets the stage, which to many is considered the best seat. I had just come back into the bar with a bag of skittles. I offered some to the doorman, which he gladly accepted and then I walked over to P's nook and offered some to him. Of course, he didn't like skittles but he did ask me to sit down. We talked for hours and then went back to his place. When we got inside his apartment he carried me through the dark and into his bedroom. The next morning he told me that he had never slept with someone on the first night. I felt really sexy around him. Like I was the young, wild, adventurous girl that he would ask over to play. P was the first man in a long time I could imagine a future with.
I told him that I liked him in an email. He responded with an invitation to dinner. When I got to his house there was a note on the door saying, "come in". He was in the kitchen. The table was set with a tablecloth and place-mats, bright orange soup in bowls, with fresh bread in the oven. He told me that he didn't want to be anything more serious than we already were. That he wanted to date and have fun with women in the way that we had done.
I sat on his bed and pouted. I imagined my earlier relationships, when pouting would get me what I wanted. I was sad for about a day and then I moved on to someone new. After about two weeks of not hearing from me, I received an email from P saying that he was thinking of me. For the sake of my reputation and ego, I was very happy to tell him that I had met someone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment